Piece of Grubstake

There are a number of aspects one must get used to when moving into a new apartment. First, marking one's territory with new scents takes time as the previous tenant's odour occasionally resembles that of Annoying Neighbour's House and the neglected freezer smells like Unwashed Body Parts. At night the unfamiliar hallway and bedroom ceiling recall sleepovers at a strange Uncle and Aunt's home, complete with the awkward moments waking up wondering if you should wait until you hear footsteps and breakfast-making before venturing out. To be fair, eating Kraft Dinner via screw-driver and retractable measuring-tape because the box with the forks and knives, no matter how well labelled, is nowhere to be found, should be acceptable during the first few Unpacked Days. We are grateful to all who helped us move. It was a stress-filled day, and I am left with a bruise which, like a Guatemalan toucan, has an intriguing colour and shape. As soon as this apartment becomes our Home we will allow others to enter this transitional domain. Let's admit that this place is temporary, a sort of Purgatory that will serve as a Comme ci Comme ça obode until we find ourselves drowning in the Seller's Market of house purchasing sometime next Spring. Hopefully my bruise will fade by then.

With glad hearts Julia and I took part in a surprise birthday party yesterday for a good friend of ours. Although we did intend to drop in to return his wife's jacket left behind on Moving Day, we had planned on staying to enjoy delicious food and chatter, unbeknownst to him. It was not until more friends "dropped by" did it don on him that yes, we had come to celebrate his birth, and yes, his quiet evening was about to be marred with embarrassing video clips and hilarious photographic hi jinks. When one laughs so hard that breathing is hindered while peeing is not, it is a good night.

Of course the oft heard rumour that everyone eats at least five spiders a year while sleeping is a frightening statistic. We can rest at ease when Jonathan admits to housing so many spiders we can be assured that our yearly average is raised only by his nightly gorging. In the end we probably only eat one or two per year while he courageously takes care of the rest.

With our screams of sheer terror entwined, my father and I experience a fantastic Fear while riding a particular ride at Playland last Summer. Our Being was torn between fear and joy as we spun around incredible heights at obscene speeds. We stumbled off the ride partly because we were dizzy, but mostly because we saw a vision of Heaven and Hell collide and felt the thunderous crash of its Result. Was I scared witless with my bladder of courage pressed near its expulsion? Yes, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. The entrance of my career has been a similar affair, as it is marked by the replacement of my precious blood with veins flowing only with tingling adrenaline. The recent staff retreat that I attended was another experience where a vision of extreme Good and Bad colliding, and its epicenter, to a sensationalist like me, was my frail body. Naively volunteering to assist with supper, I found myself with the task of baking two cakes in the camp's kitchen. Want to feel awkward and out of place? Imagine yourself with four strangers in a foreign kitchen attempting to bake your very first cake while impressing said strangers and twenty others expecting a sweet dessert after the main course. I fearfully entered a zen-like, but prayerful, state; mesmerized by the task at hand. To my surprise, I exited this scenario with nary a scratch. There is no comical incident to report. I put the ingredients together, mixed them in the camp's mixer, pulled switches, pushed knobs, baked the cakes to perfection and iced them without a mistake. My new colleagues complemented my effort and scrumptious outcome and I walked away...almost disappointingly...without folly. What a ride. Surrounded by strangers, in a strange place, without my wife to whisk me away to a comfortable haven I had to rely on God to carry me through awkwardly polite introductory conversations, beach volleyball games, a geo-caching hike, an excruciating game of Taboo (thankyou ruler-enforcing hitlers for turning that into an awkward affair), and multi-hour bus rides. As frightened as I may be I would not trade this for the world. In a few days I will be inserted into the lives and memories of hundreds of kids and with this blasted responsibility I am having the time of my life.

(grub·stake: assistance furnished at a time of need or of starting an enterprise.)