Mental Hygiene

Although it had been a year and a half since my last visit, an uncomfortable tingling sensation, not guilt-ridden tardiness, convinced me to go to the dentist today. Some of you may have already gawked at the receding gum line on two of my teeth, and so it was these two anomalies that had caused said tingle and inserted horrific scenarios into my mind. I pictured myself having an interview with a prospective school division when in the middle of a sentence the two teeth would dangle and then plop out of my mouth like a hot piece of cheese bitten from a pizza. Or I would subsequently swallow them, an act that turns me into an impromptu hillbilly whistling while I describe the "positive aspects that I would bring to their schools". So I trudged off to the dentist office across the street to see what I could do about the receding gums. I thought a gum combover would be appropriate. Pushed from front to back, it would be a tasteful yet handsome solution to my problem. Alas, apparently receding gum lines are common and I just needed some Sensodyne F to get rid of the tingle. In fact, the hygienist said, and I quote, "You are doing a good job of keeping your teeth clean." If I had gone to my previous dentist in Vancouver the hygienist there would have ordered me to fess up that I don't floss enough and then riddled me with guilt: "You know babies DIE when you don't floss three times a day." This dental office seems much more pleasant. Unfortunately, with the power of X-rays they discovered my dark secret of still having baby teeth in my mouth. Or they just saw my silver pirate-teeth crowns glaring back at them. Either way, the dentist, or tooth oracle if you wish, forecast a gloomy future for one of my crowns but reassured me that I would be safe to take care of the situation when I received a better dental plan. This was all good until my hygienist gave my receding gum lined teeth a special coating to ease their sensitivity. We discovered, as you can see, that I was horribly allergic to it: